Well.
Yesterday (Christmas Eve)
the fam and I, and the BOY, went to Eugene. The car ride there was SO fun, and we stopped to eat at Sherry's. Jay and I brought the coloring book in...it was way silly. We colored elephants and a house with a car and a boat. It was silly, and I have pictures of my nineteen year old boyfriend coloring. =D
Anywho. Christmas with my family is always a pretty huge event. This year was no different. (And my mom's side of the family always manages to stay drama-free. Thank goodness cause my daddy causes enough drama for ALL of my family members...but I'm getting ahead of myself)
So we went to my mom's eldest sisters house. Played cards, watched movies, made cookies.
It was great, and introducing my boy to everyone was way fun.
Then we went to my aunt Cheryl's house. I got to see ALL of my boy cousins. Thats the first time all year that I've seen them together. And I got to see Katie (gorgeous step-sister) and Tyler(the brother)
They arrived as we were leaving so it was a little bittersweet.
I cried leaving my family, because I dont enjoy leaving them. It sucks to say the least.
Really cute story. Ready?
Jeri Jane is Jimmy's little sister, which makes her my cousin.
She is 12.
I was hugging on her, cause goodness knows she needs it, and she was like, "I love you Ema."
I said "I love you too darlin'."
In turn she goes, "I'm writing a story about you."
silence on my end....
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, my teacher said to write about everyday heroes."
I bout melted.
I DID cry. I am a baby.
=D
That made my WHOLE night.
And being with my family made me refocus on why I DONT hate Christmastime.
Cause..and I know this sounds way generic, but I'm gonna do it anyways, Christmas is not about the presents, its really about spending time with the people we love, and letting them know how much we care.
Ok, so now it's the ride home, and I'm crying in the car, and my parents are semi-arguing and Jay and I are writing in text form to each other about how much my family ADORED him, and the boys are in the back asleep. Family gatherings will wipe you out.
We get home, and everyone opens a present each and I painted my nails, and blaine brought me a present, and we talked and enjoyed ourselves. Then Jay left cause it started to snow.
And I walked back into the house. (this is where my dad comes into play so prepare yourself)
My mom goes, "I have some bad news"
GREATTTTTTTTT
"your dad is in Eugene"
ya, that one ticked me off.
So I guess I should make sure that you know that I was supposed to spend Christmas day with my dad's side of the family. obviously that didnt happen.
well, turns out dad left portland on the 23rd and didnt bother to let me know.
the only reason I found out was because mom called HIM.
And as I'm crying in my room, my Grandma calls and SHE is crying cause she wanted to see me too. My mom is talking to my aunt. Then my aunt calls my dad and yells at him, and my mom had already yelled at him...and then little me, curled up in a ball hugging my teddy bear and soaking the poor thing in tears...I get a phone call from a very annoyed daddy.
uhm...He yelled at me..for my mom and aunt yelling at him. it was SO lame, and upsetting and gaaaaaaaah.
well anywho I am calm now. I have not talked to my dad, but apparently he will be back in portland tomorrow, as will I. He doesnt get to know that though because he honestly doesnt deserve to see me, and the ONLY reason I am going is to see EVERYONE but him.
=D
So today was amazing. I got my BOOTS!!! (rubber boots)
yay
and I dont know if I told you about the shopping spree Jay took me on. lol
that was fun, and has a cool little story behind it.
and then I got a buncha clothes and shoes and it was just way fun to have a chilled out day with my family.
I had way more to say...but I think this is enough for now?
right?
lol
I love you Sierra.
I hope you're having an amazing break.
Smile!
or I'll bite you.
did you smile?
I cant see ya.
=D
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Saddest Thing =D (with a smile)
"Up until I was in third grade I thought my name was Shut Up" Aaron Said
"Wow that's the saddest thing I've heard all day, and I watched a video about China" Crystal replied
So currently the snow is still "baby snow"
either that or it just doesnt exist.
Lame.
Well I'm going to shoot the clouds, and then it will snow twelve feet, all at one time.
Oh so I'm starting a list of the things that I learn from Mr. Gilmour.
currrently it consists of two things,
1. Do not cheat with a man that does not look like your husband, and REALLY dont cheat with a black man. (You will get caught if you get pregnant)
2. Mountain Dew does not work as a contraceptive.
"Wow that's the saddest thing I've heard all day, and I watched a video about China" Crystal replied
So currently the snow is still "baby snow"
either that or it just doesnt exist.
Lame.
Well I'm going to shoot the clouds, and then it will snow twelve feet, all at one time.
Oh so I'm starting a list of the things that I learn from Mr. Gilmour.
currrently it consists of two things,
1. Do not cheat with a man that does not look like your husband, and REALLY dont cheat with a black man. (You will get caught if you get pregnant)
2. Mountain Dew does not work as a contraceptive.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Blast From The Past
I just want you to look at this picture.
Tell me, who on Earth is the littler girl?
I'll give you some hints. She has red hair.
She's one of your besties.
You guessed it. ME!
oh my goodness.
So some lady that I dont know, but apparently I used to know found me on myspace, and asked me about my mommy and told me stuff about when I was little. Posted this.
She also told me that she knew it was me because my eyes are, and I quote "soul-filled"
haha I look like a Demon. and The funniest thing is, I look JUST like Triston, or rather, he looks like me.
I just thought you would adore this little exerpt from my past, and I assure you there are more pictures to come. haha
jooooooooooooooy
cause there arent ENOUGH baby pictures in my closet, there need to be hundreds more floating out in the abyss.
surpriseeee
Sierra. At Cascade? Wrestling?
uhm. Wrong.
Mental picture.
So Blaine and Quinton were in Bath and Body Works for WHAT exactly?
their moms.
themselves.
each other.
Dog food? Water Troff?
Trough? idk?
So today in AP Biology. I learned a very important lesson. I learned that women should not cheat with men who do not look like their husbands, and they should also stear clear from colored men. If you cheat with a colored man you with inevitably get caught. Well that is if you become pregnant. Or if your husband isnt blind.
The child might notice though...
Unless the man you cheat with is blind, and the child is born with or develops blindness.
oh and Surprises are THE best.
I already have TWO planned?!
yay.
more AFTER the surprises occur.
uhm. Wrong.
Mental picture.
So Blaine and Quinton were in Bath and Body Works for WHAT exactly?
their moms.
themselves.
each other.
Dog food? Water Troff?
Trough? idk?
So today in AP Biology. I learned a very important lesson. I learned that women should not cheat with men who do not look like their husbands, and they should also stear clear from colored men. If you cheat with a colored man you with inevitably get caught. Well that is if you become pregnant. Or if your husband isnt blind.
The child might notice though...
Unless the man you cheat with is blind, and the child is born with or develops blindness.
oh and Surprises are THE best.
I already have TWO planned?!
yay.
more AFTER the surprises occur.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Everchanging
Zach sent me these lyrics last night.
I read them, and then I cried.
My life is based on the idea of change, loss, and grieving.
my life litterally goes through the five stages of grief, over and over and over again. In a never ending cycle, and just when I think I'm alright I get pierced in the heart again.
1. Denial and Isolation.
2. Anger.
3. Bargaining.
4. Depression.
5. Acceptance.
EVERCHANGING:
In the face of change,that's when she turned to me and said:"I'm not sure anymore..."And there, amidst the wavesand the cloudless skies...That blanket, the year before...I watch my life wash ashore.Have you ever been a part of somethingthat you thought would never end?And then, of course, it did.Have you ever felt the weight inside you,pulling away inside your skin?Then something had to give...And now the lines are drawn...Is this feeling gone?The best parts of this have come and goneand now that is all that this is.With the reasons clear,We'll spend another year...Without direction,full of fear,but now things will be different.There's nothing simple when it comes to you and I...Always something in this everchanging life;and there probably always will.Now that time is getting harder to come by,the same arguments are always on our minds,killed this slowly fading lights.And now the lines are drawn,is this feeling gone?The best parts of this have come and gone,and now that is all that this is.And with the reasons clear,we'll spend another year...Without direction,full of fear,but now things will be different...And now something, has kept me here too long...And you can't leave me, if I'm already goneAnd now something, has kept me here too long...And you can't leave me, if I'm already gone...Well something, has kept me here to long, and you can't leave me, if I'm already gone...And we make the same mistakes; we're always hanging on.Break the promises we're always leaning on.All this time spent waking up...Now keep this line open to get this call from you,speak the words that keep me coming back to you...Now this time it's all different...And now something has kept me here too long,and now I'm gone...
It's like all he wants to do is hold me down.
He doesnt help the pain.
what am I supposed to do?
oh and to make things ten times worse, I had a dream about Trav last night.
I blame myself for his death so much. I know it's not really my fault, but I cant help but feel terrible about that day. I can replay every moment of it in my mind. And it hurts so badly.
This blog was not meant to be a "poor Ema" writting.
I just need to get it out. It doesnt help, but it gives me something to do.
Well There is your update Sierra.
Love you.
I read them, and then I cried.
My life is based on the idea of change, loss, and grieving.
my life litterally goes through the five stages of grief, over and over and over again. In a never ending cycle, and just when I think I'm alright I get pierced in the heart again.
1. Denial and Isolation.
2. Anger.
3. Bargaining.
4. Depression.
5. Acceptance.
EVERCHANGING:
In the face of change,that's when she turned to me and said:"I'm not sure anymore..."And there, amidst the wavesand the cloudless skies...That blanket, the year before...I watch my life wash ashore.Have you ever been a part of somethingthat you thought would never end?And then, of course, it did.Have you ever felt the weight inside you,pulling away inside your skin?Then something had to give...And now the lines are drawn...Is this feeling gone?The best parts of this have come and goneand now that is all that this is.With the reasons clear,We'll spend another year...Without direction,full of fear,but now things will be different.There's nothing simple when it comes to you and I...Always something in this everchanging life;and there probably always will.Now that time is getting harder to come by,the same arguments are always on our minds,killed this slowly fading lights.And now the lines are drawn,is this feeling gone?The best parts of this have come and gone,and now that is all that this is.And with the reasons clear,we'll spend another year...Without direction,full of fear,but now things will be different...And now something, has kept me here too long...And you can't leave me, if I'm already goneAnd now something, has kept me here too long...And you can't leave me, if I'm already gone...Well something, has kept me here to long, and you can't leave me, if I'm already gone...And we make the same mistakes; we're always hanging on.Break the promises we're always leaning on.All this time spent waking up...Now keep this line open to get this call from you,speak the words that keep me coming back to you...Now this time it's all different...And now something has kept me here too long,and now I'm gone...
It's like all he wants to do is hold me down.
He doesnt help the pain.
what am I supposed to do?
oh and to make things ten times worse, I had a dream about Trav last night.
I blame myself for his death so much. I know it's not really my fault, but I cant help but feel terrible about that day. I can replay every moment of it in my mind. And it hurts so badly.
This blog was not meant to be a "poor Ema" writting.
I just need to get it out. It doesnt help, but it gives me something to do.
Well There is your update Sierra.
Love you.
Friday, December 5, 2008
old blog that I didnt finish
It's fridaaaaaaaaaay
this
has been
the longest day
of my freaking life
caaaaaaaaaaafffffeeeeeeeeeeee.
(worse than baklava) NOT bach (as in the composer)
okay so it's not Friday anymore.
It is Monday.
Let me tell you about my weekend. Starting with the afore mentioned Friday.
Friday after school.
NHS meeting. We are the nerdiest of nerds and Joceal is our king.
Then I went home, put Bradley's number on my face (I love that boy)
and began my work.
Consessions. Lame, but good for hours.
Then Carnival. Fun. haha
Then kind of. (but not really) more consessions.
Then the game.
it was fun.
we won!!!!
Then a ride..home. Only not.
It turned into a ride up the hill..over the river, and through the woods.
it was a GRAND conversation. But a super frustrating one too. FREAKING A.
I wish that I could just know. How he feels.
or whateeeeeeeeever.
Saturday. Lamest day ever.
I dont know when this happened?
haha
but i remember it.
=D
Smile.
oh I have NEW music and I'm stoked!!!!!!
ha
this is an old one.
ooops
this
has been
the longest day
of my freaking life
caaaaaaaaaaafffffeeeeeeeeeeee.
(worse than baklava) NOT bach (as in the composer)
okay so it's not Friday anymore.
It is Monday.
Let me tell you about my weekend. Starting with the afore mentioned Friday.
Friday after school.
NHS meeting. We are the nerdiest of nerds and Joceal is our king.
Then I went home, put Bradley's number on my face (I love that boy)
and began my work.
Consessions. Lame, but good for hours.
Then Carnival. Fun. haha
Then kind of. (but not really) more consessions.
Then the game.
it was fun.
we won!!!!
Then a ride..home. Only not.
It turned into a ride up the hill..over the river, and through the woods.
it was a GRAND conversation. But a super frustrating one too. FREAKING A.
I wish that I could just know. How he feels.
or whateeeeeeeeever.
Saturday. Lamest day ever.
I dont know when this happened?
haha
but i remember it.
=D
Smile.
oh I have NEW music and I'm stoked!!!!!!
ha
this is an old one.
ooops
Friday, November 28, 2008
outrageous
My Head Hurts.
I wish with all of my heart and soul that I could explain what I've been through this thanksgiving. It's been outrageous. I cant even keep up with it all. Gahhhh.
Let's start with the dinner I had on Tuesday.
I went out to dinner with TJ on Tuesday night.
Before we got into the restaurant TJ got a really serious look on his face, and tears started to well up in his eyes. He began with, "well Em, there's something I've been needing to get off of my chest." OH GREAT, I'm thinking...what did I do wrong? Well, turns out I didnt do anything wrong...because his next sentence was.."I need to ask you for forgiveness." Whoa?! right?
Yeah well he continued on, tears and all. "When I met you, you were eight years old. I had never raised a kid, and so I raised you the way I was raised. That was a mistake on my part. I want to ask you to forgive me because all I did was discipline you. I didnt love you the way I should have, and that's why you and I dont get along. I dont treat your brothers the same way because I know that things would be different if you had been raised with love."
By now I'm in absolute SHOCK. Well of course there is more to this story. The REASON behind him asking me to forgive him....his motive. My step dad is getting baptized on Sunday.
Ok.
.
So anyways.
Wednesday we left for Eugene.
It was a good day.
and Thursday (Thanksgiving I might add)
was CRAZY.
it started off super slow...but then the food started arriving...along with family members. Jimmy...who I have NOT had the chance to see since the day he woke up in the hospital.... was the last to arrive...sort of (but we'll get to that)
IT was SO amazing to see my cousin. I love himmmmmmmm. He's doing SO well.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Blurrrrry
bluhhhrr.
Emphasis on the Bluh.
Today is Tuesday…and Friday. Thank goodness because spending any more of my time at school this week would prove worthless on my part. So I am thankful to the pilgrims for invading poor Pocahontas’ space. Although I would not condone those actions today, SO please do not take that as an open invitation to invade my space.
Oh...Speaking of ancient things, Sierra…please do some research for the English project.
Man o man. I wish you were around. Cause this week has BY far been my most bipolar week since school has started. You shoulda seen me yesterday. My mood has completely flipped. It’s outrageous. The inner workings of the teenage hormones is ridiculous… let me add girls’ behind the word teenage.
Alright…I’m done for the day. It’s “Office Tuesday” and I don’t think I can handle staying in the classroom. Crystal just said “You wanna get your WHAT pierced?”
It was funny.
You missed it.
I miss you.
We’re even.
Emphasis on the Bluh.
Today is Tuesday…and Friday. Thank goodness because spending any more of my time at school this week would prove worthless on my part. So I am thankful to the pilgrims for invading poor Pocahontas’ space. Although I would not condone those actions today, SO please do not take that as an open invitation to invade my space.
Oh...Speaking of ancient things, Sierra…please do some research for the English project.
Man o man. I wish you were around. Cause this week has BY far been my most bipolar week since school has started. You shoulda seen me yesterday. My mood has completely flipped. It’s outrageous. The inner workings of the teenage hormones is ridiculous… let me add girls’ behind the word teenage.
Alright…I’m done for the day. It’s “Office Tuesday” and I don’t think I can handle staying in the classroom. Crystal just said “You wanna get your WHAT pierced?”
It was funny.
You missed it.
I miss you.
We’re even.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
yeah, okay well today is my TuesdayWednesdayThursday. Because I did not go to any of my classes on Monday (yet I was at school..hmmmm?) And we dont have school on Friday.
Tomorrow is My WednesdayThursdayFriday. Sierra is laughing. Why is that funny?
This week has been ridiculous.
Okay....sooooooooo it's next day.
meaning it's my WenesdayThursdayFriday.
I am SO talkative.
and hyper -ish. I wish you woulda got the pic of that spider.
that woulda made me Already amazing day...absolutely splendiferous. (not a word?)
Uhm... boys all stand the SAME way.
so if they are in a football uniform and someone says that they know who it is by the body language then they are LYING!
now that I'm thinkin about that spider I feel like i have a spider crawling on meeeeee.
yikes.
Well I was all stressed out and gonna explode yesterday..
but then I didnt.
it was fantastic.
andddddddd I walked home in JUST my spandex and a sweatshirt.
it was funnyyyy. And so so cold.
I have a headache.
from trying WAY too hard to focus.
you look like you're gonna puke...cause your hand is over your mouth, or maybe you're gonna cry.
I'm not really sure.
annnnnnnd I just saw THAT picture (you know, the one that comes up EVERY time you open pictures)
wow.
just...wow.
So pretty much tonight is Twilight.
andddddd The main reason I'm going is so I can sit and throw popcorn at the screen and yell "THAT'S NOT HOW IT HAPPENED"
okay.
goodnight.
(only it's day time)
Tomorrow is My WednesdayThursdayFriday. Sierra is laughing. Why is that funny?
This week has been ridiculous.
Okay....sooooooooo it's next day.
meaning it's my WenesdayThursdayFriday.
I am SO talkative.
and hyper -ish. I wish you woulda got the pic of that spider.
that woulda made me Already amazing day...absolutely splendiferous. (not a word?)
Uhm... boys all stand the SAME way.
so if they are in a football uniform and someone says that they know who it is by the body language then they are LYING!
now that I'm thinkin about that spider I feel like i have a spider crawling on meeeeee.
yikes.
Well I was all stressed out and gonna explode yesterday..
but then I didnt.
it was fantastic.
andddddddd I walked home in JUST my spandex and a sweatshirt.
it was funnyyyy. And so so cold.
I have a headache.
from trying WAY too hard to focus.
you look like you're gonna puke...cause your hand is over your mouth, or maybe you're gonna cry.
I'm not really sure.
annnnnnnd I just saw THAT picture (you know, the one that comes up EVERY time you open pictures)
wow.
just...wow.
So pretty much tonight is Twilight.
andddddd The main reason I'm going is so I can sit and throw popcorn at the screen and yell "THAT'S NOT HOW IT HAPPENED"
okay.
goodnight.
(only it's day time)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
So pretty much...
Sierra...you're the only person in the whole flippin universe that will ever read these. =P
so I could be talking generally, but really I'm talking right AT you. Not TO you, cause it's over the computer...but AT you. =P I am literally typing these words in your general direction. Then you read them..and then I laugh at you spelling words wrong. =P (bacground??)
lol-wait, am I allowed to say lol? cause I'm not a "blogger" per-say....however I do frequently myspace...and I'm allowed to say lol on myspace. I just went off on a tangent. You, Sierra, are playing pacman...woman version.
Heidi and Kiely are putting puzzles together.
what's the point in that? weren't jigsaw puzzles created to challenge the mind/hand workings? she is moving a MOUSE around. and now she is blocking me. lame. Grrrrrrrrrrr. I growl at you Mrs Fields.
Ok. So now i'm in a different class... yearbook. yay me.
I'mmmmmmmmmm bored out of my mind. Amy's food looks yummy.
uhm, what is the point of blocking myspace at school? 'Cause I am pretty sure kids just waste MORE of their school time trying to find a way to get past the blocks that are put on the computers. Ya. pretty stinking lame if you ask me, but you didnt.
Well I am SO done trying to be clever.
(I concur with Cromer...NO MORE ELECTION COMERCIALS!!!!!!)
ooooooooooooooooo concur = clever.
haha so I lied I was not COMPLETELY out of cleverness.
i need to go home.
and clean.
wow.
did I just say that I NEED to clean.
and further more....I WANT to go home???
I'm going crazy from the cell phone withdrawels.
baaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Sierra...you're the only person in the whole flippin universe that will ever read these. =P
so I could be talking generally, but really I'm talking right AT you. Not TO you, cause it's over the computer...but AT you. =P I am literally typing these words in your general direction. Then you read them..and then I laugh at you spelling words wrong. =P (bacground??)
lol-wait, am I allowed to say lol? cause I'm not a "blogger" per-say....however I do frequently myspace...and I'm allowed to say lol on myspace. I just went off on a tangent. You, Sierra, are playing pacman...woman version.
Heidi and Kiely are putting puzzles together.
what's the point in that? weren't jigsaw puzzles created to challenge the mind/hand workings? she is moving a MOUSE around. and now she is blocking me. lame. Grrrrrrrrrrr. I growl at you Mrs Fields.
Ok. So now i'm in a different class... yearbook. yay me.
I'mmmmmmmmmm bored out of my mind. Amy's food looks yummy.
uhm, what is the point of blocking myspace at school? 'Cause I am pretty sure kids just waste MORE of their school time trying to find a way to get past the blocks that are put on the computers. Ya. pretty stinking lame if you ask me, but you didnt.
Well I am SO done trying to be clever.
(I concur with Cromer...NO MORE ELECTION COMERCIALS!!!!!!)
ooooooooooooooooo concur = clever.
haha so I lied I was not COMPLETELY out of cleverness.
i need to go home.
and clean.
wow.
did I just say that I NEED to clean.
and further more....I WANT to go home???
I'm going crazy from the cell phone withdrawels.
baaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Monday, November 3, 2008
Worstest
rawr.
Worst Monday of my life.
Scratch that. The past few days have been the worst days of my life. We lost, I spent my whole weekend in a car full of teenage girls, and I had an unexpected visitor. THEN on top of that...grounded?! freakin A! With my luck someone in my immediate family or friend group will die. Or maybe I'll die. Yeah...cause then I'd be ok with not having my phone. I need my stinking phone. Cause I dont want Jay to stop liking me. =(
OH!!!! watched a movie on Halloween. It was AMAZING. Probably one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed in my life...but it also made me wanna puke. I'll never look at gum the same way. Ever.
So I am guessing that I'll probably miss all of the amazing plans I had for this month. Lame.
My new favorite gesture is the exhasperated one that I gave TJ this morning. Blah.
I'm just gonna go live in Portland with my daddy and my auntie.
gaaaaaaah
SO freaking stupid.
You'd think that they would just give up. If I havent learned how to respect her yet.. I probably never will. They REALLY think that I'm gonna learn this time.
honestly.
well class is over.
gotta go.
Worst Monday of my life.
Scratch that. The past few days have been the worst days of my life. We lost, I spent my whole weekend in a car full of teenage girls, and I had an unexpected visitor. THEN on top of that...grounded?! freakin A! With my luck someone in my immediate family or friend group will die. Or maybe I'll die. Yeah...cause then I'd be ok with not having my phone. I need my stinking phone. Cause I dont want Jay to stop liking me. =(
OH!!!! watched a movie on Halloween. It was AMAZING. Probably one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed in my life...but it also made me wanna puke. I'll never look at gum the same way. Ever.
So I am guessing that I'll probably miss all of the amazing plans I had for this month. Lame.
My new favorite gesture is the exhasperated one that I gave TJ this morning. Blah.
I'm just gonna go live in Portland with my daddy and my auntie.
gaaaaaaah
SO freaking stupid.
You'd think that they would just give up. If I havent learned how to respect her yet.. I probably never will. They REALLY think that I'm gonna learn this time.
honestly.
well class is over.
gotta go.
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