Christmas in the plural form

Well.
Yesterday (Christmas Eve)
the fam and I, and the BOY, went to Eugene. The car ride there was SO fun, and we stopped to eat at Sherry's. Jay and I brought the coloring book in...it was way silly. We colored elephants and a house with a car and a boat. It was silly, and I have pictures of my nineteen year old boyfriend coloring. =D

Anywho. Christmas with my family is always a pretty huge event. This year was no different. (And my mom's side of the family always manages to stay drama-free. Thank goodness cause my daddy causes enough drama for ALL of my family members...but I'm getting ahead of myself)

So we went to my mom's eldest sisters house. Played cards, watched movies, made cookies.
It was great, and introducing my boy to everyone was way fun.
Then we went to my aunt Cheryl's house. I got to see ALL of my boy cousins. Thats the first time all year that I've seen them together. And I got to see Katie (gorgeous step-sister) and Tyler(the brother)
They arrived as we were leaving so it was a little bittersweet.
I cried leaving my family, because I dont enjoy leaving them. It sucks to say the least.

Really cute story. Ready?
Jeri Jane is Jimmy's little sister, which makes her my cousin.
She is 12.
I was hugging on her, cause goodness knows she needs it, and she was like, "I love you Ema."
I said "I love you too darlin'."
In turn she goes, "I'm writing a story about you."
silence on my end....
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, my teacher said to write about everyday heroes."
I bout melted.
I DID cry. I am a baby.
=D

That made my WHOLE night.
And being with my family made me refocus on why I DONT hate Christmastime.
Cause..and I know this sounds way generic, but I'm gonna do it anyways, Christmas is not about the presents, its really about spending time with the people we love, and letting them know how much we care.

Ok, so now it's the ride home, and I'm crying in the car, and my parents are semi-arguing and Jay and I are writing in text form to each other about how much my family ADORED him, and the boys are in the back asleep. Family gatherings will wipe you out.

We get home, and everyone opens a present each and I painted my nails, and blaine brought me a present, and we talked and enjoyed ourselves. Then Jay left cause it started to snow.

And I walked back into the house. (this is where my dad comes into play so prepare yourself)
My mom goes, "I have some bad news"
GREATTTTTTTTT

"your dad is in Eugene"

ya, that one ticked me off.
So I guess I should make sure that you know that I was supposed to spend Christmas day with my dad's side of the family. obviously that didnt happen.
well, turns out dad left portland on the 23rd and didnt bother to let me know.
the only reason I found out was because mom called HIM.
And as I'm crying in my room, my Grandma calls and SHE is crying cause she wanted to see me too. My mom is talking to my aunt. Then my aunt calls my dad and yells at him, and my mom had already yelled at him...and then little me, curled up in a ball hugging my teddy bear and soaking the poor thing in tears...I get a phone call from a very annoyed daddy.
uhm...He yelled at me..for my mom and aunt yelling at him. it was SO lame, and upsetting and gaaaaaaaah.
well anywho I am calm now. I have not talked to my dad, but apparently he will be back in portland tomorrow, as will I. He doesnt get to know that though because he honestly doesnt deserve to see me, and the ONLY reason I am going is to see EVERYONE but him.
=D

So today was amazing. I got my BOOTS!!! (rubber boots)
yay
and I dont know if I told you about the shopping spree Jay took me on. lol
that was fun, and has a cool little story behind it.
and then I got a buncha clothes and shoes and it was just way fun to have a chilled out day with my family.
I had way more to say...but I think this is enough for now?
right?
lol

I love you Sierra.
I hope you're having an amazing break.
Smile!

or I'll bite you.
did you smile?
I cant see ya.


=D

The Saddest Thing =D (with a smile)

"Up until I was in third grade I thought my name was Shut Up" Aaron Said
"Wow that's the saddest thing I've heard all day, and I watched a video about China" Crystal replied

So currently the snow is still "baby snow"
either that or it just doesnt exist.
Lame.

Well I'm going to shoot the clouds, and then it will snow twelve feet, all at one time.

Oh so I'm starting a list of the things that I learn from Mr. Gilmour.
currrently it consists of two things,
1. Do not cheat with a man that does not look like your husband, and REALLY dont cheat with a black man. (You will get caught if you get pregnant)
2. Mountain Dew does not work as a contraceptive.

Blast From The Past

I just want you to look at this picture.

Tell me, who on Earth is the littler girl?

I'll give you some hints. She has red hair.

She's one of your besties.

You guessed it. ME!

oh my goodness.

So some lady that I dont know, but apparently I used to know found me on myspace, and asked me about my mommy and told me stuff about when I was little. Posted this.

She also told me that she knew it was me because my eyes are, and I quote "soul-filled"

haha I look like a Demon. and The funniest thing is, I look JUST like Triston, or rather, he looks like me.

I just thought you would adore this little exerpt from my past, and I assure you there are more pictures to come. haha

jooooooooooooooy

cause there arent ENOUGH baby pictures in my closet, there need to be hundreds more floating out in the abyss.

surpriseeee

Sierra. At Cascade? Wrestling?
uhm. Wrong.
Mental picture.

So Blaine and Quinton were in Bath and Body Works for WHAT exactly?
their moms.
themselves.
each other.

Dog food? Water Troff?
Trough? idk?

So today in AP Biology. I learned a very important lesson. I learned that women should not cheat with men who do not look like their husbands, and they should also stear clear from colored men. If you cheat with a colored man you with inevitably get caught. Well that is if you become pregnant. Or if your husband isnt blind.
The child might notice though...
Unless the man you cheat with is blind, and the child is born with or develops blindness.

oh and Surprises are THE best.
I already have TWO planned?!
yay.
more AFTER the surprises occur.

Everchanging

Zach sent me these lyrics last night.
I read them, and then I cried.
My life is based on the idea of change, loss, and grieving.
my life litterally goes through the five stages of grief, over and over and over again. In a never ending cycle, and just when I think I'm alright I get pierced in the heart again.
1. Denial and Isolation.
2. Anger.
3. Bargaining.
4. Depression.
5. Acceptance.


EVERCHANGING:
In the face of change,that's when she turned to me and said:"I'm not sure anymore..."And there, amidst the wavesand the cloudless skies...That blanket, the year before...I watch my life wash ashore.Have you ever been a part of somethingthat you thought would never end?And then, of course, it did.Have you ever felt the weight inside you,pulling away inside your skin?Then something had to give...And now the lines are drawn...Is this feeling gone?The best parts of this have come and goneand now that is all that this is.With the reasons clear,We'll spend another year...Without direction,full of fear,but now things will be different.There's nothing simple when it comes to you and I...Always something in this everchanging life;and there probably always will.Now that time is getting harder to come by,the same arguments are always on our minds,killed this slowly fading lights.And now the lines are drawn,is this feeling gone?The best parts of this have come and gone,and now that is all that this is.And with the reasons clear,we'll spend another year...Without direction,full of fear,but now things will be different...And now something, has kept me here too long...And you can't leave me, if I'm already goneAnd now something, has kept me here too long...And you can't leave me, if I'm already gone...Well something, has kept me here to long, and you can't leave me, if I'm already gone...And we make the same mistakes; we're always hanging on.Break the promises we're always leaning on.All this time spent waking up...Now keep this line open to get this call from you,speak the words that keep me coming back to you...Now this time it's all different...And now something has kept me here too long,and now I'm gone...

It's like all he wants to do is hold me down.
He doesnt help the pain.
what am I supposed to do?


oh and to make things ten times worse, I had a dream about Trav last night.
I blame myself for his death so much. I know it's not really my fault, but I cant help but feel terrible about that day. I can replay every moment of it in my mind. And it hurts so badly.

This blog was not meant to be a "poor Ema" writting.

I just need to get it out. It doesnt help, but it gives me something to do.

Well There is your update Sierra.
Love you.

old blog that I didnt finish

It's fridaaaaaaaaaay


this


has been


the longest day


of my freaking life


caaaaaaaaaaafffffeeeeeeeeeeee.


(worse than baklava) NOT bach (as in the composer)



okay so it's not Friday anymore.

It is Monday.

Let me tell you about my weekend. Starting with the afore mentioned Friday.



Friday after school.

NHS meeting. We are the nerdiest of nerds and Joceal is our king.

Then I went home, put Bradley's number on my face (I love that boy)

and began my work.

Consessions. Lame, but good for hours.

Then Carnival. Fun. haha

Then kind of. (but not really) more consessions.

Then the game.

it was fun.

we won!!!!



Then a ride..home. Only not.

It turned into a ride up the hill..over the river, and through the woods.

it was a GRAND conversation. But a super frustrating one too. FREAKING A.

I wish that I could just know. How he feels.

or whateeeeeeeeever.



Saturday. Lamest day ever.

I dont know when this happened?
haha
but i remember it.
=D
Smile.

oh I have NEW music and I'm stoked!!!!!!
ha
this is an old one.
ooops