stuck on this disfunction

=D
Well today was crazy.
And so far it's only 1pm.
I'm going to protest something that already happened...
WHY THE HECK did we have a two hour delay?
there was NO snow on the ground or in the sky. thankyouverymuch.

Anywho.
I'm done complaining..cause it gave me a chance to put stuff up on myspace and such.
Well classes are 30 minutes long. except for 5th period (45)
so far today I have taken a competency, talked my mouth off in ASB, read a comic, watched She's The Man, and sat at the computer.

It's been eventful.
And interesting.
=D
I have a new favorite song!


correction...2 new favorite songs!
Who's Gonna Go-Automatic Loveletter.
Put your Records on-Corinne Bailey Rae.

ohhhhh yes.
=D

"Saphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams"
woooooooooo
makes me smile.


And apparently Molly is entertained by her own copy.
and Crystal..who I think I will bequeath(deem?)(I don know)Mama Crystal is only excited bout summer-(and the FOB concert)
=DDD
And Sierra, I miss you.
And Brandie Hartman is my heroooo.
=D

ohmuhgah.
I have a Jay Littrel story.
Guess who's dating a Hooters waitress?
oh wait, I already said!!!!!

That's what I get.

He...
He drives me up the wall
He has imperfections that make him perfect
He always has to be right
He knows it all, every dirty detail
He knows just what to say to ruin my day
He laughs at and with me at all the right times
He is often the source of my tears
He is a hero, my hero
He can’t make up his mind
He is comforting, and supportive
He won’t try to make it right
He loves me through my issues
He makes me want to scream
He is my (second) best friend.
but, only second to Sierra, and honestly...who can top her?


Anyways.
I have not updated this week.
and it's Wedbnesday which means that a whole butt load of crap has happened, and I have not yet spilled the beans.
Let's talk about the monumental change that is about to take place in my household.

TJ got a job. He leaves sunday for 3 months.
Mom's job starts the same day.
Dad, apparently also got a job.
So now I just need to get my hands on one.
That sentence just stressed me the heck out.

oh well.
When did I get so weak?
since when do I let guys walk all over me?
ohhh the answer?
since always.
"That's what you get when you let your heart win."
Thanks Crystal.

Ugh I dont even know where this blog is going.

wow.
Stressssssed.
That was so uncalled for.
I'm bout tuckered out.

I'm looking through you

today was the craziest most drama filled day that I have had in a very long time.
I dont even know how all of it happened. But the point is it did happen.
Do you guys enjoy how very vague I am? the day went like this:
I like a boy
I dont like the boy
I like the boy
The boy likes me
Zach interferes.
Friends interfere.
I like the boy.
Boy likes me
We're just gonna be friends.
People suck.
Haha but it's for the best.
Stay outta the way.
I dont care what he's done.
I do care about who he is.
I've been a mess and made bad choices...I have been forgiven graciously by those around me. and so I am going to fogrive him of whatever mistakes he's made. and I dont care to know what they are.
=D

Thank you and goodnight.
cept...again, it's the middle of the day.

about a boy! (big surprise there)

hahaha
=DDDD
I am laughing because of the title of this blog.
I actually think it's the funniest thing ever.
What the HECK? is it "let's all get to know Ema month" ?
what happened that suddenly I'm likeable?
or maybe not likeable...maybe I just look like an easy target?
I'm not really sure. but whatever it is, at the moment, I'm okay with it.
And I'll continue being okay with it until I'm the one getting hurt. (which will enevitably happen...soon.)
oh..I was dress shopping today. found a dress (didnt buy it though)Thank goodness...because about an hour later I found out that I might not (which means it's not gonna happen) go to Scio's prom. apparently Rocky's family is moving all the stuff into their bakery that weekend...so I cant steal him away for a couple hours? whateverrrrrrr Caitlyn and I decided it's BS.

anyways.
Yesterday I hung out with Rochelle-the Quizno's Goddess. lol
and I met a new boy. Chris. He's a JR AT...you guessed it...Cascade.
=DDDD
he's pretty great...more details when I have them.

Uhm Dyllan is pretty great too

And so is Rocky...despite the stupid prom craapppp

I'm stressed out cause of Mr. SHS
oh well.
haha
just got a text...Chris is at work.
think imma go see him.
=DDD
woooooo
Miss you all muchly!

Sierra

So I went into this bakery.
it's amazing.
and I have pictures that you MUST see.
=D

This is a post that I never got around to.
but I got around to it now.
=D

STOP!

okay so this was the weirdest, twistedest-is that a word?- weekend I've ever had. Ever. That's all there is to it.

Let's see...where to start.
okay.
I've got it (prepare yourselves, this is going to be a long blog, and knowing me...it probably wont all make sense and the words will confuse themselves.)

Friday-
Well the plane ride was fantastic. Being that close to the sunshine made me happy.
We got to the hotel, and I didnt have a room so I threw all my stuff in Britt's room and we headed to the mall. We took a bus. Buses make me happy. I dont know what it is, they are just so great. I really love city life and people watching. Well the mall was huge. (of course) I got to watch a lot of people and I decided that I want my next purchase to be a pair of peacock earings. Well we got back and I was exhausted.(we spent 6 hours walking around the mall...plus the bus rides there and back) My knee was KILLING me. So I got a hold of Molly (girl on my team) and took my suff to her room. I immediately passed out on her bed. Her mom then helped me get a key to my room and I passed out there.
Then I got Sierra's text about Bradley's injury. Is he okay?!?!?!?
and then my mom was texting me about how she had the funeral to go to the next day.
And then Jay texted me about how his uncle was going through PAS on Sunday.
I was homesick already. I felt like I wasnt where I was supposed to be. Not a good feeling. But I went to sleep and woke up in a much better mood the next morning.

Saturday- First day of the tournament. and funeral day. We played really well this day. I had a lot of fun with the gals and it was just good times. I got kinda grumpy though cause we lost twice..I dont like to lose. but it was two of only three losses of the whole weekend. I think this is the day that the 18-1 team pulled a prank on Ryan. This was a terrrrrrible idea.
they did awful things that I dont even want to repeat on the internet. So ask me about it and I will tell you.
let me just add that it was only the Central girls and Mona that did these unspeakable things. uggggggggh. YUCK!
okay so that was Saturday. ohhh and Rocky was my Valentine.
haha
oh and I am pretty sure that this was the elevator incident day as well.
let me first describe my mood this day.
You know how when I'm in like an amazingly perfect mood, and everything is good? Im like, bouncing off walls and pretending that I'm a strange animal or something along the lines of that? Well that was my mood on Saturday.
anywho..
I got onto an elevator by myself...and there were like 10 girls that I didnt know on the elevator too.
well the doors close...and one girl reaches over to touch another girl...the girl that is being "touched" lets out a loud "STOP!" and proceeds to say "dont touch me there, this is my private square." (while drawing a square around herself... then she begins to spell out the word rape, "R-A-P-E, get the F away from me!"
the door to the elevator opens and they all run off laughing...I'm left on the elevator pondering exactly what it was that I had just witnessed.
it was silly.
Sunday-We won all of our games this day...this is also Jay's uncle's PAS day. We walked in the rain to a pizza place this day. It was some amazing food let me tell you. I dont remember what else happened this day. It starts to get confised and jumbled.
Monday-so now we get to Monday. Wellll we won two of the three games we played this day. Then I found out some really sad news...
Ryan quit his coaching job. He's no longer coaching the 18-1's team.
I'm so maaaaaaaad at this point. Those girls pushed him over the edge. You shouldnt treat someone so disrespectfully. it's not acceptable.
So one of my favorite ppl in the world is sad. And not just sad. He is I'm-not-sleeping-im-so-depressed-its-not-even-funny kind of sad.
Sooo last night (this morning?) after the plane landed and we were getting out bags we hugged and sat there and talked, and cried. He put his arm around me and goes "They just dont make them like you anymore Em. You're a great kid, and I really hope I can come back and see you and Brittany finish this thing out." That word, the word FINISH... pushed my tears over the edge. I told him I loved him and that I appreciate everything he's done for me and everything that he's taught me. I really dont know where I would be if I hadnt had him around. He's been a huge part of my life and it upsets me that people dont respect him the way that they should.
Gaaaaaaaah it makes me so angry. and even now, sitting here typing this...and talking to my mom about it...it makes me sick to my stomach.


I have to go.
I hope you all had a great day today, and I love you all very much.
I gotta do some chores.
It's SO good to be home.

whoot

Leaving for Cali at seven forty-five!!!!
plane leaves at eleven.
=DDD
hope you have a good day today loves.
aaaaaaah it's "vacation time"

oh and apparently I'm a toy and a fool,
but not the Feste kinda fool.
The kind that is, in truth, dumb.
More on that note later.
I'll figure things out over this weekend.
ugh I hate being played with.

and I think to myself

lol
What a wonderful world.
Crystal I loved the book.
I want to marry a boy like Noah, or Paul...minus the Gay thing.


okay so I was walking with Jeri Jane to the store tonight and on the way back a bird shrieked and flew off.
Jeri flipped and was like "oh muh gah, was that a opossum?"
I laughed SO hard.
it was hilarious.

and I decided it had to be blogged.
know what else has to be blogged?
I'm leaving for Cali tomorrow!
flying on an airplane!
ohh and btw I just found out that a plane crashed in new york tonight.
44 ppl died.
=(
well anyways, I just wanted to make sure that if I DO happen to die this weekend...you all know that I love you.
remember me and smile!
=DDD
I really am ready to go, so please dont be sad if I do.


and now on a less morbid note (I'm not going to die so calm yourselves.)
I am going to bed.
my back hurts
and even though I'm not going to school I'm still getting everyone up in the morning.

ohhh
TJ told me he loved me today.
it almost made me cry.
and he said thank you.
idk.
just a really cool experience.
I love him.
and he really does know everything.
Like, what to say and when to say it.
=DD

well I did a survey, and copied and pasted it...mmmmbut It pasted weirdly...





Do you swear​ to tell the truth​ the whole​ truth​ and nothi​ng but the truth​?​I always tell the truth...unless I'm lying.Where​ were you last night​?​I was at home.staring at my amazing poster.and freaking cause I got my hair cutWhat is today​'​s date?​february 12Who was the last perso​n to call you baby/​babe?​uhm, honestly I'm not sure.When you'​re at the groce​ry store​ do you use the self check​out?​not very oftenAnyon​e crush​ing on you?yes sir.What is your relat​ionsh​ip statu​s?​I am singleHas anyon​e ever sang to you?yeshhHas anyon​e ever given​ you roses​?​yeaaaaIf you were aband​oned in the wilde​rness​,​ would​ you survi​ve?​I woulddddHow do you make your money​?​jobsssWhat is your favor​ite color​?​turquoise.What color​ are your eyes?​brownishWhat is a compl​iment​ you recei​ve often​?​uhm lately it's been "you're amazing"Who was the last perso​n to say they loved​ you and when?​Zachery about 5 minutes agoDo you like your paren​ts?​I love my parents, I like them most of the time.Do you secre​tly like someo​ne?​:​uhmmm I'm not so sure.Who was the last perso​n you said you loved​ on the phone​?​Zachery. but he's just my bestie.Where​ is the furth​est place​ you'​ve trave​led?​the bahamasWhich​ do you prefe​r,​ to eat or sleep​?​I would rather sleep than eat.=DDo you look more like your mom or your dad?Dad, for sure.hands down.it's almost scary.How long does it take you to showe​r?​I dont time myself.Do you hate your bf/​gf'​s ex?I dont have one of those.Are you flexi​ble?​yeaWhat did you do on New Years​ Eve?I was with with my fam, and Jay and some of his fam.but at different times.good day.Are you a bitch​?​N/A hahahaha lol okay so...I took this survey from Zach, and he put that.I just have to say that I disagree.this question does apply to you sweetie.lol I am laughing SO hard right now.oh muh goshDo you bite your nails​?​uhm no.I think that is yuckyWhat is the last lette​r of your middl​e name?​E-it's also the first letter of my first name.How many hours​ of sleep​ did you get last night​?​uhhhm I'm not sure.Do you wear your seatb​elt in the car?​:​yesAre you scare​d of flyin​g?​nope.not in the least.I'm pretty stoked for this flight.What do you sleep​ in?shirts and shorts.sometimes sweatshirts.Do you like funny​ peopl​e or serio​us peopl​e?​I like funny people most of the time.make me laugh and I'll love you always.What are you liste​ning to?the keyboardand the sound of the music in my headWhat do you have plann​ed for tonig​ht?​sleeeeeping.Do you prefe​r myspa​ce or socia​lspla​sh?​myspaceDo you have a favor​ite item of cloth​ing?​I do for sure.Do you like messa​ges or comme​nts bette​r?​I dont care really.just talk to me =DLast movie​ you saw in theat​ers?​uhmm Paul Blart.lol lolLast thing​ you ate?a cookie?What was last thing​ you drank​?​milkkkkkAre you happy​ right​ now?I am so happy.If you could​ have one thing​ right​ now what would​ it be?oh man.let's not go there.Who makes​ you happi​est right​ now?a loooooooooot of stuff!What were you doing​ at midni​ght last night​?​I was asleep and dreaming.Are you left hande​d?​nopeeeeeeeWhat is the last thing​ you thoug​ht about​?​uhhhhhhhm my shoulder hurtsWhen is your birth​day?​APRIL 20thDo you want to get marri​ed & have child​ren one day?yes I doWhat'​s your name?​Emalynn Marie SwaimDid you ever have brace​s?​nopeDid you get a full 8 hours​ of sleep​ last night​?​yes I think so...maybeWho are you going​ to marry​?​I really don knowWhy did you last cry?I was just thinkin bout lotsa stuff.Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e whose​ name start​ed with J?yepAny plans​ for tomor​row?​yes! Big BIG plansDo you find the oppos​ite sex confu​sing?​not really.most of them are pretty straight forward.How has this week been?​it has been SO fantastic.Do you have a best frien​d?​Yes I do.Do you have a frien​d of the oppos​ite sex that you talk to 24/​7?​well, not ALL the time.but most of the time.What are you excit​ed about​?​Tomorrrrrow!!!!!!!!!!Is your curre​nt hair color​ your natur​al hair color​?​YesssssHas anyon​e told you they would​ never​ leave​ and left?​yes they have.If the last perso​n you kisse​d saw you kissi​ng someo​ne else right​ now,​do you think​ they would​ be mad?I dont knowWhat was the first​ thing​ you said when you woke up today​?​"get up Jer." that is always the first thing I say.lolor "good morninggggg sunshine!"or something to that effect. Do you love anyon​e?​yessssss =DI love lotsa ppllove makes the world go round.Did you enjoy​ your weeke​nd?​oh yeeeeeessHow do you treat​ someo​ne when you are angry​ with them?​I donttttttt.Who'​s the last girl you talke​d to?my mother.What makes​ you happy​?​being silllllly...and making others happy.Where​ was your first​ kiss with the last perso​n you kisse​d?​oh dear.lolWhat brand​ of shamp​oo is in your showe​r right​ now?lotsa different brands.Has anyon​e ever told you you have prett​y eyes?​yupDid you have a good day yeste​rday?​ohhhh yesDo you think​ you'​ll be marri​ed in 10 years​?​it's a possibilityWould​ you rathe​r have big or small​ dogs?​Big ones!!!!!!Bigge​st annoy​ance in your life right​ now?uhm I dont want to talk about it.it's not really worth my time.and that's why it's annoying.Did the one perso​n who hurt you the most in your life apolo​gize?​nope.Did you go out or stay in last night​?​I stayed innnnnnnbut the party came to me.

more pics

More pictures of me not so shocked.
and my beautiful poster, I woke up to that this morning.
can I just say it's probably oneof the coolest things I've ever seen in my life.
Kody's a pretty dang good artist.
(there is a flamingo on there!)

I did it..Well banana did it...

while I watched in silent awe.

I cant believe I did it....

WOW, right?(bad picturrrrrre)

ohhh and btw thats my poster!!!

Dilemma

that word has my name ALL over it.

(=

okay so here is a picture.

I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow possibly.

and I have a big huge dilemma, should I get my bangs cut like hers???? I think I want to, but I have two issues, what if it looks TERRIBLE? and I dont like change.

so, Crystal my dear, this one is aimed in your direction for the most part.

What do I do???????

what I wanna make.

.....
insanity, is highly under rated.
Boys, highly over rated!
BUT!!!! You cant have insanity without boys...does that make it worth it??!

Copy.
............
mine is pretty cool....
cooler than yours :)
I joke....its just the topic that is cooler lol
yup......

you are getting lunch so i thought I would give you a message to read cause I dont want to sit and try to figure out what to do about the change of coaches in the middle of the season for soccer......................
gah!
too many changes lol good thing I wasnt in soccer cause that would have been a change that would make me grumpy!

And good thing I wasnt in soccer cause I dont have time!

This is one big tangent!

those can be fun though! pretty much :)
I dont want you to walk in the classroom and see me blogging for you cause that would be rather lameish....
so i will stop now :)



I commented!!!
are you actually gonna write anything?


(so that was Sierra's version of attacking my blog.)


it's time to go.
again, I'll talk at this blog later,
ugggggggggh
lol

I'm exasperated.

He loves her definitly, maybe

So again I go back to my rant about how terrible boys are.

But first let me say that today I have had Tea, Coffee, and I'm on my way to dominating this coca-cola.
So I'm sorry if I ramble and make no sense.

So Rocky told Kayla that he likes me. You would think this would make me happy, ah my dear friend, think again. He only told her after she told him that she still is going to try to "fix things" with Jon. (a boy from Salem)
well anyways. I'm sick of feeling second best to this chick, and she obviously needs to get her priorities straight. And so does Rocky. Gah, and I talked to Caitlyn about Kayla, apparently this is not the girls first offense. makes me wanna punch her in the face, however I am not going to because I'm not a violent person.

Zach sat with me at church. (Church was amazing. The pastor and I had a conversation in the middle of it all, and my mom afterwords was like "how do you do that? People were staring, and listening to what you were saying." It was pretty great. I love Zach, btw, but I'm not in love with him. And if this dang girl hurts him I will give her a big serving of beat down.

Jay came over Sunday afternoon. Nuff said.

Blaine is driving me up the G-D wall.

Saturday was great. I love volleyball.

ok. I'm done.
I will probably post another blog that is on the happy side.
=D

Foxy Man-child

Yeah, leave it to Gilmoure.

Sick and Twisted.



I want this boy to want me.

I am not okay with the "2nd best" label.

I'm not okay with him telling me all these sweet things...ok so truthfully I'm very okay with it.
which is silly, and ignorant of me. My reasoning is that I want to enjoy the little time I have left to be niave.

The sky is pink this morning.
Sierra remind me I have news to tell you involving a boy and such.

haha




I have a new most favorite band of the moment.
FM Static. Lovelovelove

Oh my gosh so yesterday I was scared out of my mind because my step dad told me that I might not get to play volleyball anymore for this season because of my stupid knee. Which is killlllllling me by the way.
But then we looked at it and talked and such. Everything is all sorted out. I still get to play, but I’m changing positions, which bites, but at least Im on the court.
=D
Okay, well it’s school time.
Really hope you guys are all there today.
I miss you

oh and I really dont like school time by the way.

Barbie and Ken

So I don’t know what the heck is wrong with my computer, but apparently it’s not going to let me type while I’m on the internet. So now I’m on Microsoft Works, which totally defeats the purpose if you ask me, but whatever.
I’ve discovered that I really like it when boys make me smile. Uhm…my new “friend” Rocky (AKA Ken) has definitely found a way into my heart. This might have something to do with it:
“Well if we were hanging out right now I would take you outside and explain to you how amazing you are for each individual star in the sky!”
As of now, I’m not getting my hopes up, our “relationship” is strictly….well it’s strictly relaxed at the moment. No complications or anything. Hahah we’ll see how long that lasts, apparently there’s such thing as Karma, and my step dad is waiting for it to bite me in the butt. Yeah, okay, well I think I’ve had my fair share of butt biting to last me a few more years. So Karma, if you’re reading this, please cut me a break…I really like this kid, and I’m so sick of getting hurt.
-Barbie.
Oh yeah, isn’t that the cutest thing?
Almost makes you wanna barf, doesn’t it?